NACDAC NASSAU ALCOHOL, CRIME AND DRUG ABATEMENT COALITION
NASSAU COUNTY, FLORIDA
Family Guide/Tips
As a parent, your words and actions matter. Children learn social skills and how to deal with stress by listening to and watching their parents. Spend time with your children. Read to them. Eat dinner with -- you are simply going to know each other better. Studies have shown that kids who learn from their parents about the dangers of underage drinking, drugs and other harmful substances are less likely to use those substances. In other words, parents have great power to keep their kids safe, healthy and drug free.
Start Early:
Most children have some knowledge of the effects of drugs and alcohol as early as the first grade and increased awareness of alcohol and drug issues. Some of their information will be inaccurate and may glamorize drug or alcohol use. Parents must be prepared to set the record straight. Children need to be reminded often of where their parents stand on important issues such as the use of alcohol and other drugs. Communication is key. Start early and take time to explain things to your child in basic terms that are easily understandable. The ultimate goal is to make your child comfortable talking to you about “difficult” topics such as drugs, alcohol and smoking.
Understanding Your teen:
Early adolescence is a time of huge and sometimes confusing changes for a child. Being tuned into what it’s like to be a teen can help parents stay closer to their child and continue to have influence on the choices they make.
Adolescence is a time of physical change and teens may start to feel self-conscious about their bodies and questions whether they are tall enough, slender enough, attractive enough - compared to their peers. During this vulnerable time it is important for parents to let their children know that they do measure up.
Most teens are very “now” oriented and are just beginning to understand that actions have consequences. At the same time, they tend to believe that bad things won’t happen to them, which helps explain why they often take risks. They also believe that it is important to fit in. they tend to look at friends and the media to determine how they should behave and question adult’s rules and values. During this time, a parent’s toughest challenge may be to respect their child’s growing independence while still providing support and appropriate limits.
Make Your Position Clear:
You can assist your child during this sometimes difficult time by making your position clear when it comes to dangerous substances like alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. Don’t assume that your children know where you stand.
They want you to talk to them about drugs. State your position clearly; if you’re ambiguous, children may be tempted to become involved with tobacco products, alcohol, or other drugs. Tell your children that you forbid them to use alcohol, tobacco, and drugs because you love them. Make it clear that this rule holds true even at other people’s houses. Will your child listen? Most likely. According to research, when a child decides whether or not to use alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs, a crucial consideration is: What will my parents think?
Communicating With Your Teen:
-Encourage conversation. Encourage your child to talk about whatever interst him or her. Listen without interrupting. Active listening to your child’s enthusiasm paves the way for conversation about topics that concern you.
-Ask open-ended questions. Avoid questions that have a simple yes or no answer. Encourage them to actually tell you how they feel about an issue.
-Control your emotions. If you hear something you don’t like, try not to respond with anger. Try to acknowledge your feelings in a constructive way.
-Make every conversation a win-win experience. Don’t lecture, try to score points, be sarcastic, accusatory, sympathy seeking or self-blaming. Such statements make children defensive and more likely to tune you out. Try to respect each others viewpoint.
-Be honest. If you don’t know the answer, find out. If they aske you if you ever used drugs, tell the truth and let them know what’s important.
Setting Rules and Rulemaking Tips:
-Set clear rules and discuss in advance the consequences of breaking them.
-Enforce the rules consistently; don’t make empty threats.
-Punishments should not be overly severe.
-Set a curfew and enforce it strictly. Be prepared to negotiate when special occasions occur.
-Have kids check in at regular times when they are away from home and give them to tools (cell phone, pager, phone card) to make sure this happens.
-Talk to parents whose home will be used for a party.
In The Home: As a parent or caregiver, you play a vital role in influencing your child. You serve as a role model on the use of alcohol, control the availability of alcohol in your home, and help set your child’s expectations concerning drinking behaviors. A recent study shows that children whose parents are involved in their lives -- hold regular conversations, attend after-school events, and listen to their problems -- are less likely to drink or smoke.
In the home, take these steps:
-Set a good example for your children regarding the use of alcohol
-Encourage your children to talk with you about their problems and concerns
-Get to know your children’s friend and discuss ways your children can avoid drinking when they are feeling pressured by peers.
-Talk to other parents about ways to send a consistent, clear message that underage drinking is not acceptable behavior or a “rite of passage.”
-Encourage your children to participate in supervised activities and events that are challenging, fun, and alcohol free.
-Learn the warning signs that indicate your children may be drinking and act promptly to get help.
-Make sure you’re at home for all your children’s parties and be sure those parties are alcohol free.
Ten Actions That Families Can Take to Raise Drug-Free Kids
Start: It is never too early to prevent your children from trying drugs. Building protective factors, such as letting your child know you care, plays an important role in protecting even the youngest children from drugs.
Connect: Take every opportunity to build lines of communication with your children. Do things as a family. Spend time together - eat dinner as a family, read together, play a game, attend religious services. Show that fun doesn’t involve drugs.
Listen: Take a more active interest in what is going on in your child’s life. Listen to their cares and concerns. Know that they are up to-what parties they are going to, with whom, and what will be served or available.
Learn: Children today are sophisticated. In order to educate your child about the danger of drugs, you need to educate yourself first. In many cases, you and your child can learn side by side. Sit down together and learn about the risks drugs pose.
Educate: Spend at least thirty minutes with your kids every month explaining with simple facts how drugs can hurt youngsters and destroy their dreams.
Care: Spend at least a few minutes each day telling and showing your children that you care. Make sure they know you care that they are drug-free. Explain to your child that you will always be there for them no matter what happens. Make sure that they know to come to you first for help or information. The extended family plays a major role in influencing a child’s life.
Be Aware: Look for the warning signs that your child may be developing a substance-abuse problem and get help before the problem occurs. Your pediatrician can help.
Set Limits: By setting limits on what is acceptable behavior, you show your children you care and help guide them to a safer, drug-free future. Declare limits: “This family doesn’t do drugs. This family doesn’t hang around people who do drugs.” Enforce these limits. If you say no drugs or no drinking and driving, the rule applies to parents too. Be consistent.
Get Involved: Effective prevention extends beyond the home into the community. Get involved in your community. Ensure that your community’s streets, playgrounds, and schools are safe and drug-free. Start or join a community watch group or community anti-drug coaltion. Become active in the PTA. Get involved in your church, synagogue, or faith.
Lead: Young people are as aware of what you do as much as what you say. Don’t just say the right things; do the right things. Set a good example. If you, yourself, have a substance abuse problem, get help.
